????She runs her hand slowly down my right butt cheek, probing for crevasses with her powerful fingers. 她的手緩慢滑過我（記者）的右側(cè)臀部，強有力的手指探尋著皮膚罅隙。
????“I see a new job opportunity coming up for you in December,” Bibian Arango says, as she looks carefully at my ass to prognosticate my future. “我看到今年12月，你將會有一個全新的工作機會，”比比安?阿蘭戈一邊說著，一邊仔細觀察我的臀部，為我預(yù)測未來。
????A soft, meditative tune plays in the background. I feel my cheeks relax. 在舒緩、引人沉思的背景音樂中，我感到自己的臀部無比放松。
????“The next couple of years are very prosperous, but you have to watch what you’re eating because you could have problems in your lower stomach,” the psychic says. “接下來幾年你會很成功，但得注意飲食，因為你的胃的下部有些問題，”這位通靈巫師說。
????Arango sees several butts each week in her Lima office, a small room packed with statuettes of Catholic Saints, magic potions and a three-foot mural of Sheeva, the Hindu God. 在她位于利馬的辦公室，每周會給好幾個人看屁相。這間辦公室里掛滿天主教圣徒的雕像、魔法藥水以及三英寸的印度之神西瓦的壁畫。
????The Colombia-born psychic says she’s one of the world’s few experts in rumpology, a pseudo-scientific discipline that devines people’s futures and analyzes their personalities by studying the features of their buttocks, and feeling out the general shape of their ass. 這位出生于哥倫比亞的巫師表示，她是世上少有的屁相學(xué)專家。屁相學(xué)其實是一門偽科學(xué)，通過研究人們臀部的特點以及感知臀部形狀，以預(yù)測未來并分析他們的性格特點。
????“Some people think it’s a joke, but I don’t really care,” Arango says in a distinct Colombian accent. “I predicted that Shakira was going to have babies with a soccer player…just by looking at a picture of her butt.” “有人認為這是鬧著玩的，但我并不介意他們的看法，”阿蘭戈說話帶有濃厚的哥倫比亞口音?！拔以A(yù)測夏奇拉（Shakira）將和一名足球運動員生小孩，這僅僅通過看她屁股的照片就可以推測出來了?！?/p>
????Rumpology has been most widely promoted in the states by Sylvester Stallone’s mother Jacqueline Stallone, a self-styled astrologist and psychic who claims that the ancient Egyptians and Greeks made imprints of their butts on papyrus, and used that to predict the future. There’s no archaeological evidence to support the claim that ancient civilizations read each other’s butts, but it’s fun to imagine. 屁相學(xué)的廣泛推廣要歸功于西爾維斯特?史泰龍的母親杰奎琳?史泰龍。這位自詡為占卜家兼巫師的女士聲稱，古埃及人和古希臘人將臀部的印痕記錄在紙莎草上，并以此預(yù)測未來。雖然還沒有考古學(xué)證據(jù)表明古代文明有相互看屁相的習(xí)慣，但想象一下還是挺有趣的。
????In Peru, where cigars, coca leaves, and tarot cards, are commonly used to tell the future, Arango’s method—and personality— stand out. For the past couple years, the pink haired spiritual guru has hosted a daily segment on Peru’s largest TV channel, where she reads tarot cards, talks about the horoscope, and frequently does live readings of local celebrities’ bums. 在秘魯，雪茄、可可葉、塔羅牌都是預(yù)測未來的常用工具，而阿蘭戈的方法——乃至其自身性格——相當與眾不同。過去幾年，這位粉色頭發(fā)的精神領(lǐng)袖在秘魯最大的電視頻道主持了一檔日播節(jié)目，節(jié)目中的她看著塔羅牌，討論占星術(shù)，并經(jīng)?，F(xiàn)場為當?shù)孛丝雌ㄏ唷?/p>
????“I have no doubt that Rumpology exists,” Arango says back in her office, as she shows me a colorful poster of her TV show. “屁相學(xué)的存在是毫無疑問的，”阿蘭戈說著回到辦公室，并向我展示了一張其電視節(jié)目的彩色海報。
????I asked her to give me more details of how it works, and she provided a crash course on the world’s main butt types. 我讓她提供更多有關(guān)屁相學(xué)原理的細節(jié)信息時，她拿出了有關(guān)世界主要臀部種類的速成課程。
????According to Arango, the main butt types include the inverted heart [think Kim Kardashian], the square looking flat butt –aka the ‘boy’ butt— the V-shaped butt, and the round butt. 根據(jù)阿蘭戈的理論，主要的臀部類型包括倒心形（想想金?卡戴珊）、扁方型（即“男孩”式的臀部）、V型以及圓形臀部。
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